Barbie World

There has been a lot of controversy over the years about the impossible standards the Barbie doll has set for young girls. She is disproportionate and plastically, I mean...practically perfect. But I think young girls know that Barbie is a glamorous doll, and that is what makes her so great. Playing with a "normal" doll is simply not the same sort of play-date.

Jonathan Adler, a famous designer, triggered my thought about this topic. We carry a lot of his products in a boutique I work at, and I recently learned that he designed the 50th Anniversary Barbie Dream House, located in Malibu, California. I have only seen pictures, but I think the concept is fabulous. It is a life-size house designed especially for Barbie. It isn't normal, and that is what I love about it. Should we start worrying that the abnormality of this dream house is setting impossible standards for homeowners everywhere? I don't think so!

I love the mod feel you get from this room.

If there were no eccentricity in the world, it would be quite a different place - for the worse I'm sure. Artistic expression is often an exaggeration of the norm. Creativity is harmless if we see it for what it is, and embrace it. Can't we just accept Barbie for who she is, and not worry about her being too unreal or spectacular? No one has ever worried about the affect super hero toys have on little boys - double standard, perhaps?

I believe that we have the greatest imagination when we are children, and having an extraordinary toy just adds to the fun. Trying to dull down these precious dolls to make them more realistic would alter their identity. Maybe we should allow ourselves to channel more of that creative energy we were so full of when we were young children. Then we might all be living in our dream home!

I know this post is a bit different than the others I have written thus far, but I felt that it is something I should share. I am no Barbie fanatic, but I do appreciate the legacy that she is. My view on this sensitive subject is not meant to push buttons or ruffle feathers. I simply wanted to address the need to see and acknowledge things for what they are, and give credit where credit is due. (Pictures provided by: thinksprout.com.)

Preventing the Tempting

My sister just came home from basketball practice baring bad news. Apparently some rambunctious teenagers vandalized the girls locker room, and she discovered that all of her belongings had been stolen from her locker. She was especially upset when she saw that her brand new shoes had been stolen. And she loved those babies!

You're probably wondering how someone could have gotten into her locker, how they cracked the code. Well, since she did not actually lock her lock, there was no code to crack. Those teenagers hit the jackpot when they found her unlocked locker filled with snazzy athletic apparel. (Although, she did not understand why they wanted her deodorant, as well. That's...different.)

I was sitting in the living room when my mom and sister arrived at home. I heard them arguing about how irresponsible and careless leaving her locker unlocked was. My sister claimed that she didn't mean to leave it unlocked, but she was in a hurry and apparently it didn't snap shut all of the way. Then that erupted into another argument about managing her time better, and at that point I felt obligated to jump in and help out my little sis. Let's just say, I have been in her shoes before - no pun intended.

I have misplaced and lost many valuable things throughout my life. I have even had things stolen. Some of those items have been restored, and others have not. Looking back, I'll admit that almost every one of those times I was, in one way or another, at fault. The most common faulty trait I had in each of these unfortunate incidents was a lackadaisical attitude. I would subconsciously assume that others wouldn't be tempted, just because I wouldn't be. Of course stealing is the big no-no here, but in most of our situations it could have been prevented. Playing the role of the "innocent victim" simply wouldn't cut it.

Temptation is a powerful and deceptive force. Believe it or not, we have the power to eliminate a majority of the situations where people may be tempted to do wrong. For instance, we do not store our hard-earned money in a clear box at the end of our driveway. We store it in the bank where it is being carefully guarded. It is the responsible thing to do, and we are keeping it out of harms way. I do not believe that we, as human beings, are bad by nature. Although, sometimes we do have a lapse in judgement. If we do our protective work, which would also promote good living for all parties, we will begin to see man's true goodness.

There are exceptions, though. Some troubled individuals are driven by more than temptation. And in that case - all we can do is hope that someday they will find freedom and balance in their lives. When someone participates in wrong activity they become a slave to wrongdoing, and they are no longer in command over their own lives. Once having committed the faulty action, they are controlled by fear and paranoia. We have all heard that "the truth will set you free," and that statement could not be more accurate. Facing the music and accepting the consequences is never a joy ride, but it is much better than living a life in fear.

The great thing about experiencing these upsetting situations, is that they teach us extremely valuable life-lessons. Most people, myself included, learn the right thing to do once they have done the wrong thing. Maybe it is because of our invincible attitude, or assuming that nothing bad would ever happen to us...until it does. In any case, each of these situations are a blessing in disguise - if we learn from them. I look back on a lot of the "upsetting situations" I have been in with gratitude. If we do not learn to lock our locker when we are younger, we could be facing much more serious and trying problems in the future.

The Importance of Being Sorry

What is the point of saying "sorry" if we are not? Wouldn't it be more beneficial to everyone if we were honest? Once we have lied - and yes, I consider saying "sorry" when we are not a lie - we are forced to live that lie. 

I believe there is a big difference between saying, "I'm sorry," and actually being sorry. I have always believed that actions speak louder than words. For that reason, I do not appreciate it when people say "sorry" without having thought about why they are sorry first. Their half-hearted apologies are fluffy, and practically meaningless. They use "sorry" as a cover-up to avoid an argument. For some people, "sorry" has become a reflex, triggered by a fear of being in trouble.

Okay...maybe I am being a little harsh, but I promise there is validity to my concern. Apologies should not get watered down, but they tend to when it becomes the hundredth time you have had to apologize to the same person about the same problem. How do we then bypass the argument/apology process we are so tired of repeating? In order to avoid this downward spiral, we must make a conscious effort to identify the problem and find a solution. When we don't give enough attention to an argument, or an apology, the issue never gets resolved. 

When someone actually is sorry, rather than just claiming to be, it creates a healthy foundation for relationships to flourish. I have not been the best at actually saying the words, but I do see their importance. These words are equally important to the recipient as they are to the person apologizing. By saying them, we are openly admitting that we have done something wrong. These words also show that we are aware, and care for, the other persons feelings.

If someone has said "sorry," they have at least acknowledged the fact that they should be. That is a huge step! Some people never get there. Our message will be heard more clearly if it is said with grace and compassion, rather than aggression. My father once told me, "use honey instead of salt" when you are trying to get your point across, because then it will be better received.

Once we have taken the time to be sorry, we will be free. Let's free ourselves from the bondage of pride, and have the courage to admit there is a need for change. When we refuse to reevaluate our past decisions, there is little room to improve the decisions we make in the future. The leaders and heroes of this world are not faultless. They have taken advantage of the mistakes they have made, by learning from them. The people who did not learn from their mistakes continued to make them. We have the ability to shake our pride, and apologize for the wrong acts we have committed. When we strive to live a sincere life, there will be true progress.

Dirty Dancing - Take Two

Do people dance at dances anymore? I mean, I know people are out there on the dance floor...moving - somewhat scantily, but are they dancing? And if their inappropriate motions qualify as dancing...is this really what our youth has resorted to? I do not exclude young adults from this phenomenon either.

I promise I am no prissy-pants wallflower when it comes to dancing. I love busting a move when I get the chance, but when I am dancing I express joy and spontaneity. From what I have heard, and witnessed, this new style of dancing is trashy and highly sensuous. Sure there are times and places to let your hair down and have a little mischievous fun, but that time and place is not typically at a school dance. I apologize if I am sounding too school for cool, but this trend should stop for the sake of our youngsters.

My two siblings, both of which are in high school, attended their homecoming dance last weekend. Being my sister's first high school dance, she had been eagerly anticipating a night of good, clean fun. She was quickly disappointed by the raunchy behavior the majority of her peers had participated in, and she left the dance with a shocked daze on her face.

Even her clean-cut friends had succumb to that style of dancing. She was shocked when they were flattered, instead of feeling the same way she had, when approached by boys wanting to dance in that manner.

I partially blame the music we are given to dance to. Rap and Hip-Hop, the genres most played at school dances, have extremely suggestive and blunt lyrics. While people claim they just like the beat, which is catchy and fun to dance to, the words are impossible to ignore. Music is subliminally influential, clearly. Look what it makes us dance like!

Let's challenge what has become the norm. Sure it is tempting, because "everyone" is doing it, but who made "everyone" king?  That type of dancing is not truly fun or enjoyable. Of course mischief will always be around, but it should never be accepted as the norm. Which reminds me...where are the chaperones at these shin-digs? How can we expect our youth to shape-up if there are no adults enforcing what is right and setting standards?

I really just want everyone to have fun...real fun. It is a shame to think that an entire generation can be robbed of true enjoyment. I want our youth to feel the freedom to express themselves and be individuals. Look how much fun they had in the movie Grease at their school dance! Okay, that reference may be a little rusty, but at least they were actually dancing. It is time to start having fun again, and create memories that will be enjoyable to look back on - instead of embarrassing. So go ahead - dance and be merry!